Faith is the realization that there is nothing you can do but trust in what has been done for you in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.”
-David Platt, Follow Me
Confidence is one of the things I know I would never have, before. It is like a situation wherein you know it in yourself that you will not acquire it because you thought that people that has it were really born with it. Worst is that I was convinced with what my mind and heart are telling me about that.
Thankfully God has killed that lie in my mind. My own self was lying to me. My own mind. My own heart. I have realized that it is even a dangerous thing to know that you have your own will.
“…to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own.”
While I realized that we have been graciously given our own will, I can also say that it is a mischievous thing. In fact, most if not all of our sins root from that gift that should be used for the exaltation of the Most High.
Thankfully, God has given me a number of chances to not decide based on my own will.
I was given a very humbling chance to speak in a three-day retreat (locally known as our Encounter Weekend). It is a retreat for the people who has recently received Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. It will be composed of topics that tackle about the Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.
If I was just going to assess myself from my own perspective, I would say that I am not worthy. I am the youngest among the primary leaders of our local church and I was the youngest to speak on that Encounter Weekend. This was then the time that I completely chose to not look at myself but to look and rely on what has been done for me on that Cross.
The Greatest Love
Apparently, my topic was all about The Greatest Love (The Revelation of the Cross). I tried to read a lot of things. That includes my notes from the past years, books I have recently read, listening to online preaching and the likes. Those were all useless at first because I just sought for knowledge. I forgot to consult the Author of the most read book of all time — the Bible.
Fervently I prayed to God. I felt His presence. I prayed more so that I could hear Him and He gave me the ears.
Up until I walked towards the speaker’s area (this term is awkward at some point. Yes, I know), I felt Him cheering behind me. He was excited for His people to hear a bit of His story. But actually that was the very message of the Bible – His cross, His love, His heart, and His purpose.
At some point there was a still small voice that says: “be anxious! these are pastors you are facing. There are doctors. There are professionals. They are older than you..”
Oh, how I thank Paul when he wrote:
“Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set as an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” I Timothy 4:12
And I silenced those voices
Confidence. I did not have it no matter how hard I have tried. It only came to me genuinely when I knew that I should have confidence in what Christ has done for me on that Cross he allowed me to tell people about. It was the maximum expression of His love.
I pray that I will live with that kind of confidence.